It wasn’t the best decision I have made in my life. Because things truly could have turned out horribly bad. But something deep inside me just made me do it.
I was waiting in line for the restroom at a very busy and popular fast food place in Washington, DC.
The door to the stall opened and a very tall, burly African American woman with a massive head of purple hair emerged.
She glared at me directly and said loudly and very angrily,
“When someone is in the restroom you wait till they are done. This is America. We don’t push. We stand in line.”
The restroom was full of women and everyone turned to see who she was yelling at.
She left before I could react.
Frankly I was stunned but as I washed my hands I reflected on her behaviour.
I remembered the story of how our fourth Imam, Imam Zainul Abedin a.s had been treated badly in public and how instead of yelling back he had actually visited the person spewing anger and asked him if there was anything that he needed.
Our imams (a.s) had understood the human psychology that a person doesn’t act badly unless something else is bothering them.
A moment of quick reflection
and I quickly considered the possibility that someone must have knocked on this lady’s door and made her feel rushed. And she had taken out her anger on me.
I scanned the restaurant and saw her seated with another large African-American man. I very consciously thought about how they could get livid if I approached them.
From the corner of my eye I saw a cop car parked right outside the nearby window and I felt safe.
I knew what I had to say and I decided I was going to do this. I had to.
I walked up to them, very aware of how they would react to seeing a woman dressed in a hijab and a long black abaya come up to
them at their table.
They both looked up. There was immediately anger and hatred written all over their faces.
“Excuse me,” I said very politely.
“But did someone knock on your door when you were in the restroom?”
“Yes!” she said angrily.
“Well that wasn’t me,” I said in a matter of fact voice.
“Oh” she said.
“And….I have not forgotten that this is America. You see, that’s because I AM American.
A very proud American.
I was, in fact, born and raised in America.”
“Really?” she asked. I knew it was the “proud” part that had shocked her.
“Yes,” I answered with a very calm voice.
“But you know even if I wasn’t….And even if I was a new immigrant or a visitor to this great country, and I was just learning how to live here, I would still be very hurt if someone said to me what you just did.
Because it hurts to be made to feel that if we act just a bit differently then we don’t deserve to be considered American.
So I ask you to please never ever say that to anyone ever again. It makes all of us Americans look so bad.
It makes this great country look bad.”
The lady stammered and actually sputtered. She opened and closed her mouth indignantly a few times.
“Well you know what?” she finally said angrily. “I have been treated very very badly.”
“I am so sorry for your experience,” I said very gently. “I am sorry that people have been so cruel.”
“I am..,” she raised her voice louder. “Not a N…..” she said, using the derogatory word that is often hurled at black-skinned people.
“And my son here,” she said pointing to the large guy in front of her. “His father is Spanish and people treat him so badly.”
“That’s so sad,” I said shaking my head.
“I am so sorry for what you have suffered. I know because people have treated my people badly too. But tell me, does that make it okay to hurt others?
We are all in this together. We are all hurting. And this is OUR land. OUR home. All of us! Long Live America!!!
We can’t be treating each other as if we are better than each other. If someone doesn’t know how to quite do things the way we prefer, then let’s give them a break.
They are still learning the ropes. It takes time. Cut them some slack” I shrugged.
“There is no need to make them feel like they are less than us,” I continued.
“What you said….what you just did hurt me. And it hurt me more because It made the people of this country look bad.
Please don’t ever do it again.” I said very strongly this time.
And then I directly and seriously looked into her eyes and said,
“God Bless America”
And as I turned to walk away I heard her parting words behind me.
“And God bless you,” she said loudly across the room.
I had almost reached the exit door. I turned around and saw that the entire fast food place was watching in rapt silence.
Everyone had seen us talk but I doubt they had heard a word as we had kept our voices completely calm and low.
They were just hearing our parting words.
I opened the door and turned to her. A smile began slowly lighting up my face.
“And God bless you” I said, the smile now completely all over my face and all over my heart too.
And I walked past her window, past the cop car and towards my car, acutely aware that I had just put myself in a lot of danger.
But I swear to you that never had I truly felt like an American as I had at that moment.
Because this is what this country is all about. The freedom to be who we are. And the freedom to say what we need to say.
And the right to feel a part of this great country that God has made on this earth.
We spent the rest of the day sightseeing in the nation’s capital and reading the beautiful words written on the walls said by the great leaders of this country.
And at the gift shop at Thomas Jefferson’s Memorial I bought myself a headscarf with the colours of the American Flag that had inscribed on it, the Declaration of Independence on the fabric.
And it felt right. And it felt good.
And I understood that this is the plan of Allah swt to pave the way as we await the Awaited One ajtfs.